3 — Likely number of German top goalscorers over the past 10 years by season’s end. With Ibisevic’s injury cementing his tally at 18, it seems likely that Patrick Helmes (17), Mario Gomez or Grafite (14 each) will end up with title of Torschützenkönig. BUT if Grafite were to win, it’d increase the number of Brazilians at the top over that same time to 4.

3 (Bonus) — Goals Schalke need until they break even on goal differential on the all-time Bundesliga table. At 9th place they’re currently the highest ranked team with a negative differential, 4 spots ahead of Hertha Berlin.

5 — Andriy Voronin’s hat-trick was only the fifth of the season. The others were Claudio Pizarro’s against Frankfurt, Grafite’s against Cottbus, Patrick Helmes’ against Hannover 96, and Demba Ba’s against Stuttgart. (Szabolcs Huszti gets an honorable mention for missing a penalty but scoring a brace later in the game versus Gladbach.)

5 — Games Hoffenheim have now gone winless. Furthermore, over this stretch they’ve conceded 8 goals. That’s as many as in November, December and January combined (although the latter two were shortened by the winter break).

8 — Seasons since the 1991/1992 (the first year of a unified Bundesliga) that featured a champion that did not also lead the league in goal differential. More on the correlation between goal differential and table position in a future post.

10 — Games Wolfsburg have won at home after their 1–0 victory against Karlsruhe. Across all competitions this season that number increases to 13. In fact, their only defeat was a 2–5 setback to Bremen during a mid-week DFB Pokal match earlier this month.

12 — Games (only one of which ended nil-nil) that Karlsruhe have failed to score in which, unsurprisingly, tops all teams. You might not be surprised to learn that they are also the only club not to have won a game by 2 or more goals.

14 — Goals scored (out of 22) by ‘foreigners’ (including German-born players who represent other countries, e.g. Hamit Altintop). This isn’t something I pay particular attention to, considering the Bundesliga is an international league. Neverthless, 64%? Is that the norm?

0 — Number of wins by Frankfurt, the last remaining winless team
5 - Total number of shots by Gladbach in their 0–1 defeat to Hamburg
7 — Goals scored by Patrick Helmes this season, that’s equal to or more than 8 teams (Hertha, Köln, Hannover, Karlsruhe, Bochum, Cottbus, Frankfurt, and Gladbach)
8.06 — The average number of points the average Bundesliga squad has after the first 6 games of the season. Compare with EPL at 8.35 and 20 draws after six games vs. 28 in the Bundesliga
9 — Number of different goalscorers in the Bremen-Hoffenheim game. That’s quite an accomplishment
10 — Saves by Rene Adler to preserve Leverkusen’s 3–2 victory over Bochum, the most in a single game so far this season
12 — Corner kick differential favoring Bochum in their 2–3 loss to Leverkusen
14 - Minutes Christian Lell played before being substituted by Massimo Oddo
16 — Times Christoph Daum has earned at least a point in his 18 meetings against Schalke
36 — Minutes it took for the Bremen-Hoffenheim game to reach 6 goals, making it the highest scoring game of the week by halftime
54 — Time of Possession, in percentage, of the losing teams this week
1798 — Distance, in kilometers, of Madonna from Frankfurt on Matchday 6 (she was in Athens at the time)

1. Parity

Okay, let’s not kid ourselves.  Not any team can win the Bundesliga.  But since the inception of the EPL in 1991, four teams have won the title: United, Blackburn, Chelsea and Arsenal, but United has won 11 of those titles.  In that same span, five teams have won the title in Germany: Kaiserslautern, BVB, Bayern, Werder and Stuttgart.   This may not seem huge, but it is if you look more closely.  If you look at contested title races (one’s that have gone to the final weeks), Newcastle’s epic collapse in 1996 and Blackburn’s purchase of the title in 1995 have been the only times that Arsenal, Chelsea or United were not involved in the title race.  Even Liverpool has never come close.   In the Bundesliga, aside from the winners, Schalke has lost the title twice and Bayer Leverkusen thrice (once tied on points with Bayern).  Even Eintracht Frankfurt has been within six points of the title (back in 1992).   And never forget that Kaiserslautern won their one title in this era the year they were promoted from Zweite.   Anyone think Hull has a chance of doing that? 

The big four is truly the big four in England.  They have only been piped for a slot in the group stages of the UCL by Leeds and Newcastle since United’s Treble saw England pass Germany in coefficient and get four slots compared to Germany’s 3.  During that same time, Germany has sent Hertha, 1860, Bayer Leverkusen, Bayern Munich, Werder Bremen, Schalke, Stuttgart, HSV and BVB to the group stages.  All this was accomplished with one less spot.  And unlike Leeds, none of those teams were ruined by the efforts to get there.

In addition, while Bayern is the most successful and richest club in Germany, Schalke, Werder Bremen, Wolfsburg, BVB, Stuttgart, Leverkusen and HSV are quite capable of winning the title this year (some more so than others).  Meanwhile apart from Cottbus, Bielefeld and Bochum, every team can confidently hope for a run into European.   In the EPL, there are only two possible champions.   While other than the big five, only Everton, Tottenham and Villa can hope to squeeze into one of the extra slots.  For the rest, the only hope of Europe is to get to the finals of the FA Cup and lose to a big four club.

2. Support

Maybe you saw Tottenham’s win over Arsenal last year in the Carling Cup and could hear the power of the chant that was repeated over and over, “Que Sera Sera, Whatever Will Be, Will Be.  We’re going to Wem-be-ley”.  It was as breathtaking as the game.  The EPL can have amazing crowds, but it can have rather dull ones too.  Arsenal isn’t called the Library for nothing.  Wigan is a rugby town.  Roy Keane’s comments about the Prawn Sandwich brigade at Old Trafford were a damning statement on gentrification in the game as it becomes the vice of the old and wealthy in England. 

In Germany, where stadiums are significantly bigger and seats cheaper, the young and the avid attend virtually every team’s games.   The same power I remember from that Carling Cup song could be heard at Wolfsburg in a game against Stuttgart last year in a midtable/ midseason clash.   And Wolfsburg’s stadium is small and one of the few stadiums that hosts empty seats.

The crowds are amazing.  They are spectacle unto themselves.  Think about a Bombanero in Buenos Aires without the fear of losing your life.  And this can be had at many of the average teams in Germany.

Last year 1860 Munich averaged 44,000 people for Zweite games.  That would have made them the third highest attended team in Spain and Italy.  They would be the second highest attended team in France and fourth in England.   Meanwhile they were 8^th in Germany.  And Köln and Borussia Möchengladbach both had 40K+ average attendances as well in the Zweite.  Just for the record, Borussia Dortmund virtually equaled both United and Real in attendance with a putrid side last campaign.

They are loud, they are relentless and they never stop waving the flags or singing the songs.   And is there any site more beautiful than the post game acknowledgments between the players and the fans?

3. Fan Power

Thanks for supporting the team, now shut up and give us your money.  Increasingly that has become the feeling of the supporters of clubs in England.   And while some supporters are finding solace in the lower leagues, for example through F.C. United, many English fans are now seeking it in Germany.

Because in Germany, fans still have a say due to ownership rules and tradition.   Fans have forced issues such as standing terraces, which are one of the reasons for the wonderful crowds and atmosphere, reasonable seating prices, use of flags and banners and the continued presence of Sportschau, think Match of the Day, on free television. You can get seats for as little €5, even at the Allianz.  At Old Trafford, that money wouldn’t even get you their infamous prawn sandwiches.

The fans aren’t a profitable inconvenience in Germany; they are part of the makeup of the league.  And their tireless work has led to many of the wonderful aspects of the league that make it the most compelling league in the world.  

But if you think they are sitting on their haunches, you need only look back to an article by Raphael Honigstein last year, which shows how the Ultras still feel the league is too commercialized.  The Ultras of Italy throw bricks.  The Ultras of Spain make monkey noises.  The Ultras of England can’t afford to go and have to meet up in dark alleys for a punch up.  The Ultras of Germany* actually have a political statement. 

*This is not to suggest that there isn’t a minority of these Ultras in Germany who aren’t capable of the same.

4. 50+1

A term used to refer to rules regulating that no individual can own more than 49% of a club.  The remainder has to be owned by the Verein, which is the original sporting club, which derives its purpose and finances through its members, which spawned the football team.  Think of your local YMCA owning the Boston Red Sox. 

With this rule, there are not any worries about oil tyrants and human rights abusers taking over clubs for a quick return on investment.   There are concerns that these rules might be relaxed in the future, but there is doubt that fans, who have a say through their memberships in the Vereins, will allow for this, even at the expense of watching English clubs dominate Champions League.

But that’s not to say that teams can’t be bankrolled.  Bayer Leverkusen has the backing of the Bayer Group pharmaceutical giant, Wolfsburg has Volkswagon and Hoffenheim has Deitmar Hopp of SAP.  There could be an increase in the number of rich owners who have a 49% stake, which would allow Germany to still compete in Europe without giving its league to bandits, as has happened in England.

5. All Teams Solvent

What is the most profitable league in Europe?  Wrong! (I know you said the EPL).   You’re not even close.   While revenue is greater in England (by almost double), the Bundesliga profited €250 million last year, over €100 million more than the EPL.  In the meantime, the Bundesliga is now 2^nd in revenue to England, outclassing both Italy and Spain in revenue and profit.   The major factor in this is player costs.  While all the talk in England revolves around player power and transfer deals, the Bundesliga keeps player costs to 45% of revenue (compared to 66% in England).  Meanwhile, television money continues to increase, shirt sponsorship is greater than England and bigger stadiums all help to keep teams revenue rich.

Pick a team! Any team!  Tomorrow they will still be solvent.   Yes, Borussia Dortmund recently had a financial crisis, but it was a crisis.  It was not administration.   The number of teams that would be denied a license under Germany’s Lizenzierungsordnung, which regulates finances, would be staggering, as it is much stricter than in England.  Each March clubs are required to put a financial plan to the league to show their liquidity. They have to budget based on that submission.  In fact, it was BVB’s missing out of the group stages of the UCL in 2003, which they had budgeted upon that caused much of their financial worries recently.  Hopefully Schalke had contingency plans for their failure this year.  

The last time a team was denied a license in Germany was 1982 to 1860 Munich.  Twelve teams have been near or in administration in England over the past 2 years.   And Chelsea have recorded losses of £140. 

6. Youth Development and Scouting

Want to see who the stars of Euro 2012 or WC 2014 will be.  A good place to start is the Bundesliga.   Italy is housing fewer and fewer young stars, especially ones that aren’t Italian.   Spain is loaded but is mostly the domain of the Spanish and Argentine.   England puts an overvaluation on youth but rarely produces the young stars.  The exception is Arsenal, where Arsene Wenger has made a cottage industry of buying young kids from outside of England and developing them.  England may buy talented teenagers, but these players were almost always developed elsewhere.   In fact, even with English talent, rarely does the EPL develop it, other than Manchester City and West Ham.  The lower leagues develop most English talent. 

While that may change is FIFA is able to implement the proposed 6+5 rule, the fact is that money has allowed England to give up on the academic system.  Bayern Munich is as big as any of the clubs in England.  Their squad includes Lahm, Ottl, Rensing and Schweinsteiger, who they developed from their youth system.  Compare that with Manchester United, who haven’t developed a player of note on their own squad since the golden generation.  Any kid with a modicum of talent in their youth system is bound for Belgium or Sunderland.   It begs the question as to why they even incur the expense.

It’s the Bundesliga that houses most of the young international talent in the world.  The fact is that Spain has limits on foreigners and England has work permit regulations.   Meanwhile Germany has few restrictions other than a player must learn German.

This is why every team at Euro 2008, except for Spain, had a representative in the Bundesliga.  And this was done without a detriment to the German national team, which is exactly the opposite effect that a slew of internationals are having in England.  And the league also had the most players at this year’s tournament.   Meanwhile, they were the hardest hit by the Olympics, where 16 of the league’s players, most starters for their club, were in Beijing while the German team wasn’t.   

The stars of the future play in the Bundesliga: Kroos, Adler, Marin, Renato Augusto, Fenin, Breno, Thiago Neves, Alex Silva, Arturo Vidal, Said Huseinovic, Neven Subotic, Sosa, Demba Ba, Kuba, Nuri Sahin, Rakatic, etc.

7. Tactics

How many true #10’s are there in England?   Joe Cole who will never be allowed to play the role and Elano at Manchester City.

Werder has Diego, Bayern has Ribery, BVB has Hajnal, Hannover has Bruggink and the league lost two in Wolfsburg’s Marcelinho and Hamburg’s van der Vaart recently.   It is a very common position that is the pinnacle of technical football; yet, it doesn’t exist in England, because it slows the game down.

Nonetheless, the Bundesliga is no slower than the EPL.   In fact if you compare distance covered, the Bundesliga and the EPL are slightly behind France as players cover 10km per game.  While much more time is spent sprinting in the EPL (210m vs 169m), when it comes to high intensity runs the EPL is barely above the Bundesliga with each player running 241m at high intensity compared with 224m. But for the slight advantage they have in sprinting, English teams don’t even complete 60% of their passes, while the Bundesliga compares with La Liga at 63.5% completion rate.

Another telling problem for England is that there are 50 more challenges per game, which is due to the defensive nature of the league.  Even worse is that the EPL has 10 more air challenges per game, proving that “Rt. 1” football is far from dead.  Meanwhile England has the lowest number of touches per game and Germany the most. 

And all of that leads to the most telling factor: For 19 straight years, the Bundesliga has had the most goals per game of any of the five biggest leagues in Europe (2.81 last year).   England, who claims that Italy is the land of defensive football, has managed to average more goals than Italy just three times this decade.  The last time England even came close to the Bundesliga was 1999–2000 when they scored 2.78 vs 2.80 gpg.  Most years, the most “exciting” league in the world is statistically more like Ligue 1, which is desperately trying to get its clubs to play offense.  It has many less shots on goals, significantly less goals, and many more challenges.   In effect, take an Englishman’s worst stereotype of Italian football and it describes his league perfectly.

Germany on the other hand, seems to be the middle ground between the highly technical Spanish and Italian leagues and the fast-paced, physical English and French leagues.  And that seems to me to be the perfect place to be in a tactical sense.

1st

Schalke

What You Know: If baseball’s Chicago Cubs had a baby with the Red Sox prior to 2004, Schalke would be the offspring.

What You Don’t: All things both good and bad must end.

What to Expect: Yes, Campeones! I say that, bucking all trends, and knowing full well that Schalke could be leading the league by 6 points going into the last week and still pull a fubar.

But I look at this team, and quite frankly, it’s just better than Bayern Munich. Rakatic, Farfan and Jones are an amazing attacking three with Zé Roberto, Streit, Varela and PPA (poor people’s Altintop) to provide options. In Engelaar and Ernst they have the perfect double pivot, with Ernst the ball winner and Engelaar the deep-set passer.

Bordon, Westermann and Krstajic? (a fantastic man marker) are bookended by two of the best fullback in the Bundesliga in Olympiad Rafinha and D.J. Christian Pander. Behind them sits Manuel Neuer, who while prone to a young mistake on occasion is brilliant 98% of the time.

And with Kuranyi they have a forward that can hold, distribute, release, find space and finish. They can switch mid-contest to a 4–4-2 and play Farfan with Kuranyi, and Rutten can even call upon Asamoah, Lovenkrands or Sanchez.

So along with the talent, they have new attack-minded trainer Fred Rutten, who has at his disposal the most versatile side in the league. They can move from a 4–2-3–1 to a 4–1-4–1, 4–4-2 or 4–3-3 in one move. If the tactical acumen that we are led to believe exists in Rutten, they will win the league. No blowing it on the last weekend.

2nd

Bayern Munich

What You Know: Jurgen Something. I forget.

What You Don’t: It’s F.C. Bayern. What could you possibly not know about a team that has more press coverage that Lindsay Lohan.

What to Expect: I am alone on this, which will make me either a genius or quickly forgotten, but I don’t think they have what it takes for the Bundesliga this time around. I think the UCL they may well win, but Jurgen hasn’t proven to anyone he can handle a year-long schedule. On top of that, will he see that the team is built for a 4–2-3–1 or will he continue to force, as Ottmar Hitzfeld did, two lone forwards into a dual attacking line. He will be granted amnesty on this choice while his talisman returns from his Euro injury, but he is in for a headache when Ribery returns.

Also putting your faith in a kid at goalkeeper is a big gamble. Rensing could be the bomb. He could also fold under the pressure and demands of Germany’s biggest club. Also does Jurgen have the will-power to keep Lucio from exposing his defense. It was Hitzfeld’s greatest accomplishment last year, but I doubt someone Lucio would call “the kid” is going to keep him from leaving Demichelis wishing he had stayed a DM.

3rd

Wolfsburg

What You Know: Felix Magath won two doubles as manager of Bayern. After a slow start two seasons ago, he took up the position at Wolfsburg, but he has done so as the one true English manager in the Bundesliga. He guided Wolfsburg to 5th place last year.

What You Don’t: He has a Puerto Rican father and thus he’s the most famous person on this list who hasn’t won a Grammy.

What to Expect: Christian Zaccardo and Andrea Barzagli would be a massive signing for any team not in Milan or Turin. The fact that a factory town has two world cup winners should make everyone pay attention. The fact that Magath has taken over and built a young squad with good chemistry and excellent conditioning should scare them. I think this team is going to be in Champions League next year.

With Misomovic already to take the mantle of playmaker, the move of Marcelinho to Flamengo has me even more convinced. Too much went through the aging captain, and that might have been fine when the squad was dodgy, but not with all the talent the have now. They should benefit from an attack that doesn’t have to go through one man.

4th

Bayer Leverkusen

What You Know: I heart Rene Alder

What You Don’t: No court order will keep us apart.

What to Expect: I joke about Rene Adler, but seriously, he is the only keeper in the world who I watch a game just to see his exploits. When he’s on his game, he’s impossible to beat. Add to the best keeper in the world (I mean that), a young talented squad with the likes of Simon Rofles, Tranquillo Barnetta, Gonzalo Castro, Arturo Vidal and Stefan Kiessling. Add to that mix new signings Patrick Helmes, Henrique and Renato Augusto, and they have the makings of a team that will slip in and out of the top three for most of the season.

This biggest question mark for the Werkself is new trainer Bruno Labbadia. If the up and coming manager has the personality to focus this young team and the tactics to win games, there’s no reason they can’t be playing for Champions League this season. I personally think he will be up to the task, but they won’t have enough to get to their traditional spot of #2.

5th

Werder Bremen

What You Know: Diego is off to the Olympics, which sucks for Werder, but has meant that nobody came in with offers for the highly sought after midfielder.

What You Don’t: The Team Motto is “Defense Schmefense”

What to Expect: We know they can score. That’s not an issue. Werder’s problem is always a lack of defense. They are capable of thrashing teams, but are also able to lose focus at home to the likes of Bochum. With Per Mertesacker out for the beginning of the season, Sebastian Prodl will have to step in and partner Naldo in central defense. The problem is that Prodl was most likely brought in to be the understudy for the erratic Naldo. Putting a promising kid with Naldo, when Torsten Frings plays a loose version of a DM, is a recipe for disaster, especially when the keeper Tim Wiese is prone to blunders. Additionally their two fullbacks, Fritz and Pasanen are more attack minded than defense minded. With all of that in mind, Werder’s defense could cause them massive headaches this season.

6th

Hamburg

What You Know: Rafael van der Vaart has left, taking his bad attitude and hot wife with him.

What You Don’t: His teammates aren’t distraught.

What to Expect: Martin Jol’s ability to turn a squad of crap into a good side is being proven on a daily basis as Spurs are stripped of the players that Juande Ramos doesn’t consider good enough. Jol got that squad to two 5th place finishes, by some miracle, over in the Premiership. At Hamburg, Jol actually has a lot more talent than he did at Tottenham. Perhaps he lacks the superstar quality of Dimitar Berbatov, but his midfield, even with the loss of van der Vaart, is better. Piotr Trochowski, Jonathan Pitroipa and Romeo Castelen (when healthy) can open up most defenses while de Jong and Jarolim can lock down a midfield. A solid defense and the most underrated keeper in the league will keep them in most games.

The worry for HSV is the strikeforce of Ivica Olic, Paulo Guerrero and Mohamed Zidan. They haven’t been the most productive strikers and if they can’t finish, HSV will become nil-draw specialists.

7th

Hannover 96

What You Know: Robert Enke is the heir apparent to Jens as Germany’s #1.

What You Don’t: Their nickname is die Rotten, which sounds really cool until you translate it and it becomes “the Reds”. Commies!

What to Expect: Here’s a name you don’t know, but should: Arnold Bruggink. The 31 year old Dutch playmaker has been leading Hannover’s turn of fortunes as they have finished 12th, 11th and 8th since he joined. Overshadowed by the likes of Ribery, Diego, van der Vaart and Marcelinho, he has been one of the most creative forces in Germany since he moved. Surrounded by the likes of Jan Rosenthal, Szabolcs Huszti, Sergio Pinta and Altin Lala, while Hanno Balitsch cleans up behind him, Hannover’s midfield is an obvious strength.

By upgrading the defense in front of the solid Robert Enke by adding Mario Eggimann to replace an aging Michael Tarnat to go along with work-horse Steve Cherundolo as well as Frank Fahrenhorst, Valerien Ismael and Christian Schultz, Dieter Hecking’s side have strengthened significantly in a weak area.

In addition, the two new forwards in Jan Schlaudraff and Mikael Forssell is a huge upgrade on the hot and cold Mike Hanke and should take the impetus off the midfield to provide goals as well as service. Last week I did a “best transfer” list and leaving Jan Schlaudraff off of it will be a huge mistake.

8th

Eintracht Frankfurt

What You Know: Come on. Be honest. You don’t know anything about Frankfurt.

What You Don’t: Friedhelm Funkel, who henceforth will be referred to as da Funkenshizzle, has steadily improved this once yo-yo team and they can contend for Europe.

What to Expect: Da Funkenshizzle has built a team that has an equal measure of youth and experience. But the young guns are where all of the excitement is coming from. Since last January, Frankfurt have added Markus Steinhöfer, Umit Korkmaz, Habib Bellaid and Martin Fenin. All of them are highly regarded youth players. Capturing Fenin was one of the biggest coups by a smaller club in a long time.

If these kids can start to gel with the existing spine that includes holder Junichi Inamoto, captain Amanatidis, the underrated Markus Proll, playmaker Alexander Meier and defender Christoph Spycher; Frankfurt could be more than a mid-table team this year. Add to that the free transfers of veterans Zlatan Bajramovic from Schalke and Nikos Liberopoulos from AEK and da Funkenshizzle has had one of the most impressive off-seasons of any trainer in the Bundesliga.

9th

Stuttgart

What You Know: Jens Lehmann is a douche bag and a crap keeper.

What You Don’t: Knowing that, he’s still a 100 fold improvement over Rafael Schaefer, who might have had one of the worst seasons ever in the Bundesliga. I mean the word awful doesn’t do his performance justice.

What to Expect: Welcome to mid-table mediocrity. The Swabians may have one of the hottest commodities on the planet in Mario Gomez, but while good at developing talent, they have proven themselves to be poor purchasers of talent. Adding a couple of questionable EPL castoffs isn’t reason to believe that they can be any better this year, than they were last year. While Pardo is a great holding mid, he’s getting old. Letting their best player from last year, Fernando Meira, go is not the best way to shore up a defense that doesn’t impress. Bouhlarouz has been a shell of the player he was at Hamburg. While they have been making questionable choices in the market, Schalke, Wolfsburg, Bayern and Bayer have been signing quality. If things go right, like it did two years ago, they could push for a UEFA Cup slot, but I am not confident of this. I think that Armin Veh will be the first trainer to lose his job this campaign.

10th

Hertha Berlin

What You Know: If Marko Pantelic gets hit by a bus, the league has been instructed to drop them to Zweite immediately.

What You Don’t: They are changing their name to Herta Berlinho. They now have five Brazilians. Their fortunes ride on how many of them are “talented” Brazilians.

What to Expect: They are in the UEFA Cup through the Fair Play rule. I’d advise them to avoid red-cards again. This is a team that might be a year away from being the real deal, and if the management gives trainer Lucien Favre time to mold this very young team with a lot of potential, then it could pay dividends by next season. If they put undo pressure on him to deliver the goods, they will surely fire him as Hertha should run hot and cold as the kids gel as a unit. And all the hard work to get rid of the trash (such as Dejegah, Minero and da Prince) and bring in a new core, such as Cicero, Kaka, Domovchiyski, Goyko, Rodnei, Amine Chermiti and Marc Stein, will be for naught. Chermiti signed too late to make my best transfer list, but by all accounts the Tunisian Maradonna is lights-out and this 20 year old kid will make you want to watch Hertha this year.

11th

Borussia Dortmund

What You Know: The first club publicly traded on the German stock exchange, financial mismanagement has seen this powerhouse turn into a laughing stock of German football. Things look set to change.

What You Don’t: With their colors, one might think an official nickname like the Bee’s would be on the cards; however, their official name is Die Schwarzgelben, which goalkeeper Roman Weidenfeller does not like one bit.

What to Expect: Jürgen Klopp’s enthusiasm gets even me excited. And I have no specific feelings about Germany’s second biggest team. But I do feel that BVB has turned a corner financially, and have brought in a coach that could take them back to their former glory. This man took Mainz to the Bundesliga and kept them up for three years. That’s a phenomenal achievement.

And who did Klopp bring with him from Mainz? The internationally sought best defender in Zweite last year Neven Subotic. He’s already a vast improvement over the ancient Worms, who showed his age last year. It would seem they hope to make him the cornerstone of their defense with loanee Mats Hummels, if they can make his move from Bayern permanent. That is a juicy sounding U20 pairing. Time will tell how good it can be.

If the keep hold of winger Jakub Blaszczykowski, they have a vastly improved midfield over last season with the additions of playmaker Hajnal and the return of FM legend Nuri Sahin. With Federico, Kehl, Tinga and Marc-André Kruska, they are loaded in the middle. Up front, they have depth with Alexander Frei, Nelson Valdez and Mladen Petric.

I see BVB improving over last year’s performance. Klopp and his young defense will need time to settle, and I hope the management will have as much patience as I am willing to give. They are still in dire need of a decent keeper; otherwise, I would have them higher. By next year, Dortmund fans could be very happy indeed.

12th

Borussia Mönchengladbach

What You Know: Borussia has turned into the biggest yo-yo club in the world. However their new state of the art stadium should provide them with the footing to rebuild their reputation in the coming years.

What You Don’t: How to pronounce their name. Don’t worry…we all fake it.

What to Expect: The only move that mattered in this off-season was holding onto 19 year old phenom Marko Marin. His arrival to the Bundesliga dwarfs any of the big transfers, as everybody wants to see how he performs at the highest level. But Jos Luhukay and Christian Ziege, the training duo, do not preside over a one man team.They have a deep squad with youth and experience. Most of that experience comes in the form of Oliver Neuville, the ageless wonder. He partners Canadian Rob Friend up top and the pair chipped in 33 goals combined last year. The service of Marcel Ndjeng, Sascha Rösler and Marin is top notch and they can be expected to score a few this year as well.

Their biggest concern is their defense, which has significant changes, from the best defense in Zwei last year. If Callsen-Bracker and Juares settle in quickly, they should be fine.

13th

Karlsruhe

What You Know: They were the surprise package of last campaign, flirting with Europe before dragging across the finish line in 11th.

What You Don’t: I want chicken every time I look at their crest.

What to Expect: I think they have what it takes to avoid the sophomore slump. They were unfortunate to lose playmaker Tamás Hajnal to BVB and CB Mario Eggimann to Hannover. Both were integral parts of the team that won the Zweite and did so well last year. However, they shrewdly picked up Antônio da Silva to replace Hajnal as a creator. In addition, they raided Hansa for Tim Sebastian to replace Eggimann. They lost very little in talent, although a bit in cohesion, but it should be enough to keep them up for another year.

They held onto some of the key components of last year’s team, such as Joshua Kennedy, who they picked up in January and immediately started building the team around. It’s no coincidence that their late season dip corresponded to his injury. Markus Miller turned out to be a top notch goalkeeper, and holding onto him is basically the difference between relegation and staying up. Freekick specialist Massimilian Porcello, highly underrated fullback Christian Eichner, the versatile Iashvilli and Michael Mutzel all return to Edmund Becker’s side. While I can’t see them pushing as high as they did last year, they look to be a fixture in the league for years to come with this progressive trainer.

14th

Köln

What You Know: Christoph Daum, the disgraced manager that lost out on a chance to coach the German nationals, has rebuilt his reputation and has pledged himself to the club that first game him a chance after playing. Having won trophies in Turkey and Austria, and being one of the biggest also-rans in Bundesliga history, he has as much pedigree as any manger outside of Magath.

What You Don’t: Three times they have secured promotion recently. Three times they have made a hasty retreat. Also goats seem to be very gigantic in that region.

What to Expect: A team that barely won promotion used its resources wisely to add an international holder in Petit, the Superliga’s best defender in Pedro Geromel and Duisburg’s Ishiaku. The latter unfortunately takes the place of their “chubby” captain Patrick Helmes, who has joined Bayer Leverkusen. Overall they have a solid defensive spine, which kept Karlsruhe up last year. With the Columbian Mondragon in goal the Canuck Kevin McKenna to partner the highly anticipated Geromel, they are looking solid in this area. That alone will make them capable of surviving the year. How their attack survives without Helmes will indicate their ability to move beyond 15th.

15th

TSG Hoffenheim

What You Know: SAP. Yeah that SAP, the world’s largest business software provider. Dietmar Hopp, the former Hoffenheim youth player is one of the founders. He has been the team’s backer since 1990 when they were in the eighth tier of German football.

What You Don’t: Hoffenheim (pop 3K) is a suburb of the tiny town of Sinsheim (pop. 33K), which is essentially a suburb of Camryn Manheim (pop 325K), who hasn’t been able to get work in Hollywood due to her gravitational force. So when people call it the world’s richest village team, they aren’t kidding.

What to Expect: I want them to succeed. I really do. I think it would be one of the best stories in football. I think I am going with my heart when I pick them for 15th, rather than my brain. However, I can point to their phenomenal infrastructure and the new stadium in January as reasons to believe they can survive.

They have not enhanced much over last season’s side. Admittedly, they already had some solid midfield play in Carlos Eduardo and Sejad Salihovic, and the fact that they held onto them might be more important than who they brought in. Mostly it comes down to their strike force of Demba Ba and Chinedu Obasi. Are they good enough for this level? Or will goals be like Camryn’s feet: Not often spotted.

Relegation

Bochum

What You Know: Bochum is one of the oldest sporting clubs in Germany. I typically feel older just watching them.

What You Don’t: If you pronounce the “ch” in the middle of their name as a hard “k” sound rather than a guttural “h” sound, rabid spider monkeys will attack your genitals with a hammer. I’ve seen it happen and it ain’t pretty.

What to Expect: Not good. I know they seem like a mid-table side, but their comfortable position last year had much to do with the under-performance of bigger sides like Nuremburg, BVB and Hertha as well as the large number of poor sides that resided in the bottom half. The newly promoted sides this year are one of the strongest crops in a while. And Dortmund are getting better.When your best players are Stanislav Sestak and Shinji Ono, and you can point to keeping them as being a sign of progress, you are bound for a rough ride.

Arminia Bielefeld

What You Know: The King is dead. We will miss Zuma the Puma (much like he missed the net). Long live the new King: Katongo the Tsunami!

What You Don’t: There is not one Armenian on their squad. What’s up with that?

What to Expect: Trainer Michael Frontzeck is highly experienced in easing a team into the Zweite after doing it with Aachen. His experience should be helpful this year. However, one can never predict with confidence the demise of Arminia, as they will inevitably bring back Ernst Middendorp, who could save them this year.…AGAIN.

Energie Cottbus

What You Know: Their squad wasn’t raided this year by bigger clubs.

What You Don’t: There’s a reason their squad wasn’t raided by bigger clubs.

What to Expect: Hey, if they give us another great match like their home victory over Bayern Munich, it will be a fantastic parting gift before returning to Zweite.

The Deutsche Presse Agentur released a poll yesterday about predictions for the upcoming season. Bayern Munich was the unanimous favorite of Bundesliga coaches to repeat as champions. The most common reason given was the quality of Jürgen Klinsmann’s squad. What follows is a hasty translation of what each of the 18 gaffers had to say about Bayern Münich beginning with Klinsmann himself and the rest following in alphabetical order:

Jürgen Klinsmann (Bayern München): “Our own expectation is that we will be German champions. Titles are expected at Bayern.”

Edmund Becker (Karlsruher SC): “Bayern Munich are the favorites. Schalke and Bremen could try to exert some pressure on them from behind.”

Christoph Daum (1. FC Köln): “The title goes through Bayern Munich, because they have the best personnel by far. After that probably comes Schalke and Bremen, while I’m very excited about Wolfsburg, who have invested a lot in new arrivals.”

Lucien Favre (Hertha BSC): “Bayern Munich, because they have the best squad. Schalke and Werder will try to make life hard for them.”

Michael Frontzeck (Arminia Bielefeld ): “Bayern Munich have, by a wide distance, the best squad. Six national team players sit on the bench there. Bremen, Hamburg, Wolfsburg and Schalke will be on their tail.”

Friedhelm Funkel (Eintracht Frankfurt): “Bayern Munich, because they have the strongest squad, professional management and the best prerequisites. ”

Dieter Hecking (Hannover 96): “Last year I said Schalke, this time even I’m betting on Bayern Munich. I hope, however, that their dominance isn’t so marked.”

Martin Jol (Hamburger SV): “Bayern Munich are favorites for the championship every season.”

Jürgen Klopp (Borussia Dortmund): “Bayern are always the favorites. They have the most options and the best squad. I’m really thankful that Jürgen Klinsmann introduced to the public training methods that we Bundesliga coaches have been using for years. It’s that old song: If 12 sandbags in Mainz are knocked over, no one’s interested. With the national team or at Bayern a single grain would suffice.”

Marcel Koller (VfL Bochum): “The usual suspects will be playing for the championship: Bayern Munich, Schalke 04 and Werder Bremen, maybe a surprise team as well. But Bayern are the clear favorites. They have the best quality squad.”

Bruno Labbadia (Bayer Leverkusen): “Bayern are, considering both the quality and quantity of their players, the best positioned.”

Jos Luhukay (Borussia Mönchengladbach): “Bayern München!”

Felix Magath (VfL Wolfsburg): “Bayern Munich will be champions. We want to affirm our pre-season position and reach an international competition once again.”

Bojan Prasnikar (Energie Cottbus): “My tip is Bayern Munich. They haven’t lost any key personnel and strengthened their squad. There isn’t another team in the Bundesliga with access to such a high quality, balanced squad.”

Ralf Rangnick (1899 Hoffenheim): “I think that Bayern, as usual, will get the title.”

Fred Rutten (Schalke 04): “Bayern Munich are always favorites in the Bundesliga, but Schalke have progressed well over the years and are always playing near the top. We want to do that again this year.”

Thomas Schaaf (Werder Bremen): “Bayern are once more the class of the league. But all the teams who were at the top last season have a shot again at the title.”

Armin Veh (VfB Stuttgart): “Bayern Munich are the odds-on favorites. Whoever has the biggest budget and spends the most money is favored. That’s how it is in this business.”

The fixtures for the opening day of the 2008/2009 Bundesliga season have been announced. All of these matches will be played on Saturday, August 16:

FC Bayern v Hamburg
Schalke v Hannover
Wolfsburg v Cologne
Bayer Leverkusen v Borussia Dortmund
Eintracht Frankfurt v Hertha Berlin
Karlsruhe v Bochum
Energie Cottbus v Hoffenheim
Arminia Bielefeld v Werder Bremen
B. Mönchengladbach v Stuttgart

One of the most interesting matches will be between current Bundesliga champions Bayern Munich and Hamburg. Both teams will feature new managers. Jürgen Klinsmann for Bayern, and Martin Jol for Hamburg.

Only one German club was involved in the UEFA Cup first qualifying round draw as Hertha Berlin drew FC Nistru Otaci. Last year Hamburg, this year Hertha… that’s right, we’re off to Moldova again! Last year Hamburg won 5–1 on aggregate, and nothing less than a win is expected of Hertha Berlin either. The team may have been lucky to receive a Fairplay spot in the UEFA Cup, but should advance easily to the second round. In anticipation of July’s tie, we therefore bring you a reasonably exhaustive overview of the Moldovan opposition, FC Nistru Otaci.

Who are they? FC Nistru Otaci, founded in 1953.

How did they get here? 3rd in the Moldovan National Division.

Where do they play? Stadionul Calarasauca, a tiny 3000-seat stadium (note: the Hamburg fixture will take place at Stadionul Zimbru in the capital, Chisinau). It would, no doubt, fit comfortably inside the underground parking garages of Berlin’s Olympiastadion. Nevertheless, its capacity is slightly more than 1/3rd Otaci’s population. The city itself is located in the extreme northeast of Moldova, famous for its wine (maybe) and, no joke, sharing a name with a Turkish skin care company. Otaci is situated along the banks of the Danube across from Ukraine (which no doubt explains the presence of so many Ukrainians in the squad).

Domestic Pedigree: 2005 saw FC Nistru lift the Modolvan Cup after defeating FC Dacia 1–0, the club’s only success to date. Incredibly, however, FC Nistru have been losing finalists eight (8!) times, including two defeats in extra time and three more in penalty shootouts. The team’s “almost, but not quite” form is mirrored in its league performances. It has been unable to break the duopoly of FC Zimbru Chisinau and FC Sheriff Tiraspol atop the table, who between them have won 16 of the 17 championships contested since 1992 (Constructorul Chisinau being the exception in 1996–97).

European Glory: In short, none. If forced to choose, well, they were unlucky to go out to Honved on penalties in last year’s UEFA Cup first qualifying round. Honved was the team of Puskás, Kocsis, et al. who comprised the bulk of the Hungary’s Magical Magyars in the early 1950s. So European glory by distant, distant ridiculously tenuous association.

Well, that’s interesting: After Moldovans and Ukranians you might be surprised to learn that Cameroonians (all two of them) make up the team’s third largest contingent. I haven’t the slightest idea why.

Prediction: Hertha Berlin will settle for a draw away and play for the win at home, leading to a comfortable (and conservatively estimated) 3–1 aggregate victory.

The 45th season of the Bundesliga has come to an end with comparatively little drama or theatrics. Bayern all but guaranteed itself the title with a busy summer in the transfer market, spending 70 million Euros on Luca Toni (the league’s top scorer), Franck Ribery (world class playmaker) and the rest. While this investment was able to secure first place in Germany, a return to Champions League action and a domestic cup, it could not secure the treble. Two (lucky) draws against a lower table Spanish side Getafe and an aggregate 2–5 drubbing by the Russian champions Zenit St. Petersburg did remove some of the season’s luster. But ultimately with their 20th Bundesliga title in hand this year can be seen as a return to form for Bayern and their fans.

The names of the other squads returning to Europe has a familiar ring to them:

Both Bremen and Schalke return to the Champions League with Bremen automatically qualifying this year and Schalke going into the third qualifying round.

Hamburg, last year’s Intertoto Cup “winner”, enters the Uefa Cup proper joined by a Wolfsburg team who in 2006-07 had finished 15th, the last safe spot above the relegation zone, and Dortmund who had an uninspiring year but were runners-up in the DFB Cup.

Hertha Berlin are fortunate to be in Europe this year, being the lucky recipients of a Fair Play UEFA Cup first round qualifying place along with Manchester City and Denmark’s FC Nordsjælland.

Finally Stuttgart, the ex-reigning champs, have the pleasure of playing in the Intertoto Cup’s third round where, if they’re as lucky as Hamburg was last year, they’ll get to play a team from Moldova. The Intertoto Cup is slated to be abolished in 2009, so if Stuttgart (or any other German club) still has designs on European silverware the time is running out.

Bayer Leverkusen and Nürnberg both failed to emulate last year’s success. Leverkusen just missed out on a spot in Europe with their 7th place finish. Nürnberg took matters one step further by not only avoiding Europe but the 1. Bundesliga as well, choosing relegation instead. Being relegated as reigning DFB Cup holders stands proudly alongside the club’s unique achievement of winning the league one year (1968) and being relegated the next.

Joining Nürnberg are Hansa Rostock and MSV Duisburg, two squads who gained promotion only the year before. Karlsruhe, comfortable winners of the 2. Bundesliga, finished a respectable 11th in the table.

The 1. Bundesliga welcomes in their place two old faces: five-time champions Borussia Mönchengladbach and three-time champions FC Köln, and one very new one: 1899 Hoffenheim. Hoffenheim is only two years removed from playing in Regionalliga Süd, one of the various third tier leagues (soon to be replaced by a nation-wide 3. Liga). It is difficult to imagine them surviving beyond their inaugural season in the highest division, but they are sure to gain numerous fans from around the football-starved Heidelberg area in southwestern Germany.

As for the other clubs? Hannover, Frankfurt, Bochum, Cottbus and Bielefeld did just enough to stay within the safe band of clubs between spots 7 and 15 on the table to avoid mention. Sure, Cottbus and Bielefeld flirted continually with relegation throughout the season, but did just enough in the end. The rest managed to be solid, anonymous mid-table clubs. Consistent adequacy may not be glamorous, but it is reassuring.

Relegation Crunch Time

With two games remaining a total of six points is all that distinguishes the bottom five squads from one another. Three: Rostock, Duisburg, and Nürnberg technically inhabit the relegation zone with 27, 29, and 31 points respectively. Bielefeld (32 pts) and Cottbus (33) are flirting with danger, being out of immediate harm’s way BUT having two of the three worst goal differentials in the league (lowly Rostock rounds out this ignominious trio).

How will this shake out?

Hansa Rostock — Relegated. They need two wins and a lot of help. It’s not inconceivable they’ll defeat Bochum in week 34. They won 2–0 (at home) in December, but by week 34 it will already be too late. Unfortunately for Rostock they face a determined Leverkusen side hoping to steal a UEFA cup spot from Hamburg or Stuttgart.

MSV Duisburg — Relegated. It all comes down to their final game against Eintracht Frankfurt after presumably losing this week to Bayern. While they’re unlikely to get sufficient points to force their way out of the drop zone, their schedule is best suited for doing so (at least dramatically). In short, don’t be completely surprised if Duisburg should leapfrog Nürnberg and Bielefeld to safety.

1. FC Nürnberg — Relegated. It’s a shame, really. They’ve become a classic yo-yo club and seem destined to go down yet again. They have the talent to get a draw away at Hertha Berlin but that’s it. The final week sees a Schalke side visit intent on securing an automatic Champions League spot. A valiant, but ultimately futile effort. Goodbye Bayern München and 1. Bundesliga, hello TSV 1860 München and 2. Bundesliga.

Arminia Bielefeld — Safe. Had Bielefeld been forced to play Dortmund away they would end up being relegated after losing to them and Stuttgart in succession. As it stands, they manage to avoid the drop, barely, by drawing at home to Dortmund.

Energie Cottbus — Safe. Their meager points cushion is enough to see them through to another season of top flight football by default. Not a particularly inspiring example, no last gasp heroics, just the good fortune of being the best of a bad bunch.